A number of friends have asked me for this recipe, so hear you go. I call these Happy Hacker Hash Browns because they go well with intense computer work, and you can have them any time of the day or night.

Start by heating water in a saucepan. It should cover the potatoes well. Meanwhile, peel and dice 1-2 potatoes per person. When the water boils, throw in the potatoes and let boil uncovered for 20 minutes.

Prepare a frying pan with olive oil, good quality salt, pepper, curry, and whatever other spices you like. Chop up three strips of vegetarian bacon per serving. Mince 2-3 cloves of garlic per serving.

When the potatoes finish boiling, strain out the water. Start the frying pan. Wait a minute and throw in half of the garlic. Stir it to make sure it doesn’t burn. Put in the vegetarian bacon. Stir it every 30 seconds or so. You want it to get crispy but not burn. Now put in the potatoes. Stir every minute or so for five minutes.

Turn off the burner. Add the juice of half a lemon per person and the rest of the garlic. A tablespoon of hempseed adds some good protein. Enjoy.

Every St. Patrick’s Day I make vegetarian stew and invite friends over. We listen to Live Ireland and have a good time. Everyone requests the recipe, so I thought I’d whip up this article. I plan to add more recipes in the future. We call this Liberty Stew because my friend and I would make the stew, then watch a documentary while the stew cooked, then we could talk about what we had seen. I suppose today it could also refer to Irish liberty.

This stew uses whatever you have on hand. Gather some vegetables such as carrots, zucchini, and peppers. Use a few big baking potatoes. We also like capers. Prepare things ahead of time for the most relaxing experience. You will also need some meet substitute, such as Morningstar Farms Crumbles. You want something to imitate ground beef. You’ll also need garlic, onions, oil, and cooking wine. For an Irish twist you may enjoy using Guinness. You should also get the highest quality salt you can find. I like Himalayan salt, which you could always buy from here.

Start by putting oil in a large cooking pot. YOu want to make sure nothing will stick. Put in salt, pepper, garlic, and onions. Let then cook for a few moments then add the meet substitute. Let it brown, then add your vegetables. Potatoes take the longest to cook, so get them in right away. Mushrooms have lots of water, which helps things not burn. Add your liquid as needed.

Cover and let it cook for a few hours. Stir it every twenty minutes or so, and make sure nothing sticks. You can add more seasonings or anything else as the stew cooks as well. After enough time has passed, let it cool and serve.

As with anything, practice makes perfect. You will learn the right proportions of things from experience. Hopefully this will get you started. After you’ve done it a few times you can make a great stew and clean out your fridge. Enjoy!

I recently had the misfortune to go to the Peking Restaurant in Media, Pennsylvania. We had such bad food that I felt compelled to write a review. My Mom said not to bother, but I figure if it saves one person then I will have done my job.

I had just finished my self defense class, which will soon become a full Karate class much to my delight. I always feel hungry after these, so wanted to get something to eat. I thought about just making stir-fry, but Mom suggested going to Peking, a Chinese restaurant at the mall. I had a bad feeling, but agreed. I just hate going to a place and ending up with something I could have cooked for a fourth of the price and which would have sucked a fourth as much.

We sat down in the nice decor. They brought out water. We thought we’d get some crunchy noodles or a cucumber dish, but nothing. If you think menus at these restaurants seem difficult to parse, imagine trying to do it without sight, requiring someone else to read it for you. Mom read the menu, but it didn’t help much, because nothing had descriptions. I don’t know this stuff. I just wanted a good tofu stir-fry kind of thing. I felt hungry and cranky.

The waiter came over and we tried to have a conversation. I asked him about vegetarian food, and he said Buddha’s Delight, tofu and vegetables in a “white sauce” whatever that means. I asked about a few other tofu dishes, but finally opted just to go with the recommendation, whatever. We also got some vegetable dumplings and I asked for some green tea as well. Mom ordered some hot and sour soup.

The dumplings and soup came out first. The dumplings tasted average – not bad, but not great either. They just tasted like the stuff in spring rolls but in a noodle. hmm. Mom said her soup tasted average as well, and she expected better. She began to have a bad feeling too. I waited for my entree feeling cranky. They also hadn’t brought my tea yet.

The Buddha’s Delight came a few minutes later. “It looks wonderful.” said Mom. I asked the waiter for tea again and this time he brought it. I tried eating. A few of the vegetables tasted good, but then I noticed that I didn’t get any tofu. I asked Mom to look, and sure enough she didn’t see any. This flipped my lid. They knew I wanted something with tofu. The guy came back and we tried to reason. “No tofu?” “Ah………………. Mixed vegetables and white sauce.” “But I wanted tofu.” “Mixed vegetables.” I didn’t feel like arguing. The mushrooms tasted weird, as though treated with chemicals. Everything tasted weird. It would have probably tasted better with some tofu to give it some body. I couldn’t take it. Mom just asked for the check.

“Well, at least we got fortune cookies.” she said, trying to think of something positive. I figured they would relate to our experience here. Mom got: Sometimes listening well is just as important as talking well. They would have done well to understand that one. I opened the packet and noticed the cookie had already broken. I didn’t even get the primal pleasure of breaking my fortune cookie in half. That literally tore it! I got: Necessity is the mother of trying something new. Or words to that effect. True enough.

In conclusion, you know a restaurant sucks when you leave and immediately say: “Well, I guess I’d better get cooking.” Well, I guess I’d better.

And just to show you, I will now describe how to make a stir-fry. Start by cooking the brown rice as per instructions, it takes an hour. Take some tofu and put it between paper towels. Plates an object such as a frying pan on top to weight it. Let it drain for about a half an hour. Meanwhile, chop up whatever vegetables you have around – mushrooms, peppers, zucchini, whatever. Also, chop some garlic and fresh ginger root. The fresh ginger root makes the stir-fry! Onions and scallions go well also.

Put some sesame oil in a wok and let it heat. Chop up the tofu or just crumble it and put it in, allowing it to fry up a little. Next, add the garlic and ginger, followed a few minutes later by the vegetables. Stir occasionally, don’t let anything stick and burn. Make a secret sauce by combining soy sauce and whatever other good things you have around, such as hot sauce, vinegar, maybe a little sugar, anything that sounds good. Throw it in and let it cook for a little longer. I always save some garlic and ginger for the end, which I throw in right as I kill the flame. And there you go: easy and good stir-fry.

I have it! I have my iPad 2. Getting it proved one of the strangest experiences in recent days. Listen if you will to my tale.

When Apple announced the iPad 2, I felt intrigued, and wondered if I should buy one despite owning an iPad 1. I read and thought and read some more, and eventually decided to. I wanted to experience the dual core processor, and wondered if it would boost VoiceOver performance. The iPad 1 always seemed a little clunky to me. The new design sounded interesting as well, and I wondered if it would have better feel appeal. Apple always does such a wonderful job with making things that feel cool to hold. I also felt very excited when I learned of the glass display. I figured I wouldn’t have a problem finding a new owner for my iPad 1, I still consider it a beautiful piece of machinery, but I wanted to move forward.

I read that Apple would make it available at 04:00 A.M. eastern time on March 10th. I knew they would sell out fast, but as it happened, one of my favorite radio shows called Over the Edge, would play then anyway, so I knew I could successfully pull this off. By 04:30 I had used my iPad 1 to purchase my iPad 2, with an estimated shipping speed of 3-5 business days. Perfect. The night owl gets the iPad! I enjoyed the show and went to bed. When I woke up, Japan had suffered the earthquake and the world had changed.

Around 01:00 in the afternoon I checked the Twittersphere to find that shipment dates on the iPad 2 had moved back to 3-4 weeks. I felt glad about my clever plan. I received the proper confirmation emails from Apple, and within a few days its journey had started from China. The situation in Japan had worsened and people wondered if this would effect the production of the iPad 2. I wondered if mine would become radioactive. I felt bad for those afflicted, but read a touching article which said that Apple stores had become rallying points, describing people flocked outside them just so they could get an internet connection. They also let people charge their iDevices, and I pictured iPhone users like myself frantically doing so. I wondered if any blind Japanese iPhone users charged theirs. With these thoughts I waited.

My order said I would get my iPad 2 by March 18th. They also shipped my smart cover in a separate package with the same arrival date. As the date drew closer I tracked the package and saw that the iPad would arrive on the 17th, St. Patrick’s day, with the cover still scheduled for the 18th. This made me feel great, and I even came up with a witty title for my article: Top of the iPad 2 ya!

I love St. Patrick’s day, even though I don’t have a drop of Irish blood in me. My friend Liz comes over and we listen to Irish music and live coverage on Live Ireland. I cook vegetarian stew and we have a good time. Neither of us drink. This year, I anticipated a special day indeed. Imagine my shock when my iPad didn’t show up.

I couldn’t believe it. I had tracked the package during the whole day. The package had gone out for delivery in the morning, and I sat in my recliner by the front door, anxiously awaiting the doorbell. Suddenly, it showed as delivered and signed for. My doorbell had not rung and I had not gotten it, let alone signed for it. I paced my porch and wondered.

I didn’t know what else to do, so continued my day’s plans. I started preparing vegetarian Guinness stew. As the name suggests it calls for a bottle of Guinness in the stew. Since I don’t drink I didn’t have any, and since you can’t buy alcohol in Swarthmore I couldn’t easily get any. Fortunately I got my mom to bring me some, which she picked up at Swarthmore Pizza. They technically reside in a neighboring town, so can serve alcohol. She also scanned my porch and confirmed that I had no package. With that knowledge and a bottle of Guinness I continued, unsure of what to think.

Liz came over, and we enjoyed the wonderful stew, which worked out perfectly. We even sent Live Ireland an email, and the two hosts, a vegetarian and a vegan, wanted the recipe. Very cool! Liz left with a bunch and gave me a cake she had spontaneously bought. I enjoyed the day immensely, but worried about my package.

The next day I waited outside in the pleasant almost nice afternoon with my MacBook Air. My other package with my smart cover still showed out for delivery, so I hoped that would come and I could snag the Fedex guy and ask him some questions. He finally showed up, and I signed for the package. If they make me sign for a $39 smart cover, then surely they would make me sign for a $599 iPad. I told him the story so far and he said that they have three guys, and that one of the others must have delivered the package. He suggested I call Fedex, so I did.

Nothing they said made sense. They showed the same thing I saw, delivered and signed for… by K Seraphin? My name starts with an A, and I have an illegible signature. I began to suspect the worst, that someone ripped off my iPad. They told me they would initiate a trace, but I wouldn’t hear anything until Monday. This bothered me, but what else could I do? I could celebrate the Equinox and watch the Lord of the Rings! Before the day ended though I did call Apple, who told me to wait to hear from Fedex, and if I could not get the package they would send me a replacement or a refund. They handled the whole thing very professionally. Once again Apple came through. Now I had a cover but no iPad.

I spent the weekend listening to some Tolkien material and taking care of any loose ends so I could relax for a few days. On Sunday the 20th I began my celebration at 07:20 PM eastern time. I enjoyed the movies but wondered what I’d hear on Monday. Monday came and I heard that they would have the delivery guy go back to exactly where he dropped it off and try to retrieve it, and that I would hear them on Tuesday. I didn’t know what else to do, so thanked them and continued watching the movies, contemplating the theme of uncertainty. The movies have less uncertainty than the books, since the movie starts with the backstory. In the books the reader only learns this information at the Council of Elrond, midway through the first book.

Tuesday came. Interestingly, this correlated with 1 Ahau in the Mayan calendar, the sacred day of Venus. I put on disc one of the Fellowship of the Ring and waited. Fedex called as the Council of Elrond gathered. The lady told me that they contacted the delivery man, and he felt absolutely confident that he dropped the package off. I told her I felt absolutely confident that he didn’t, and that I didn’t sign for it, and what’s this? You have a signature release that I didn’t agree to either? The more she talked, the less things made sense. The less things made sense, the angrier I became. I stepped outside to make sure I hadn’t gone absolutely insane and missed the package, but of course found nothing. She just sat there, as dumb and silent as a paperweight, and told me to contact Apple. I felt disgusted and thanked her. I hung up right as Frodo accepted his quest.

By this time five days had passed and I had to consider the possibility of theft. I did mention it on Twitter. Could someone have ripped it off? Did someone stalk me down and wait outside my house to intercept the delivery guy and forge my signature to rip off my iPad? It seemed too complicated. It would make more sense for a criminal to just rip off a package from Apple. And what of the signature? And what of the release that I didn’t agree to? Did this iPad stealing ring even reach into Fedex? They could collaborate with a Fedex worker with access to that information to alter computer records to make off with packages. I cursed all the god damn iPad spammers on Twitter, offering their free iPad 2’s that likely fell off the back of a delivery truck just like Mine. Curse them! Destroyers and usurpers! But what of the delivery guy who felt confident he delivered it? Did they get him in on it too? Who do you even mean by They? The Russians?

I talked the situation over with my family, and decided to file a police report. I had never done this before. I called the local police, and a guy took down my information in a matter of fact way. He didn’t seem too alarmed, but agreed that at the least Fedex did not follow proper procedure. Something clearly had gone wrong. He gave me the report number and also suggested I talk to Apple. All roads seemed to lead there anyway, so I called them back. I told them that I had heard from Fedex, who told me nothing and to call Apple. Apple understood, and told me they would launch an investigation within twenty-four hours. They also deducted the price of the smart cover for the inconvenience. How thoughtful. I decided to try to enjoy the rest of the movie.

I put on Disc two of the Fellowship of the Ring. The fellowship soon met Galadriel, the Lady of Light. Suddenly, my doorbell rang. I had a strange feeling. Would it really happen? Would I get my iPad 2 while celebrating the Equinox as well as 1 Ahau in the Mayan calendar, the sacred day of Venus, and right at the moment when the fellowship receives gifts from the Lady of Light?

A woman stood on my porch. “Hello. I have this package for you.” I could hardly believe it. “They delivered it to the house two doors down. I don’t know why people do this, but instead of just bringing it to you, they called us. When we went to retrieve it the first time, they weren’t home, and they finally called back again today and I just got it. It’s been sitting there since…. I don’t know when.” “Since Thursday.” I said elatedly. I felt awestruck. I signed for the package myself for real with my wacky signature and gratefully accepted it. I thanked this wonderful manifestation of Goddess profusely. She had done it. She had come through. After all my fears, it came back to the SNAFU principle as it usually does. Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. Hobbits have such a sense of family, but I can’t even get someone two doors down to bring a blind neighbor a package.

I brought the package inside as the movie played. “My gift to you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our woodland kin. (To MERRY and PIPPIN) These are the daggers of Noldorin. They have already seen service in war. Do not fear, young Peregrin Took. You will find your courage.” I got out my pocketknife. “And for you, Samwise Gamgee, Elven rope made of hithlain.” “Thank you, my lady. Have you run out of those nice shiny daggers?” I battled with the pocketknife to get a blade to open the package, then decided to resort to scissors. “And what gift would a dwarf ask of the Elves?” I began opening the box. “Nothing. Except to look upon the lady of the Galadhrim one last time. For she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth.” I got it open and started extracting the box containing the iPad. “Actually… there was one thing.. er.. no, no I couldn’t. It’s quite impossible. Stupid to ask.” “I removed the box and cast aside the packing materials. “I have nothing greater to give than the gift you already bear.” I started opening the cellophane. “You have your own choice to make, Aragorn. To rise above the height of all your fathers since the days of Elendil, or to fall into darkness with all that is left of your kin. Nam·riΔ

Finally, at long last, I actually held the iPad 2 in my hands. “Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star.” “May it be a light for you in dark places, where all other lights go out.” I felt absolutely overcome by the beauty of the synchronicity, not to mention the beauty of the object I now held in my curious hands. I knew that I held a blessed item. It is precious to me.

Epilogue: I hooked it up to my iMac. iTunes automagically imported my settings from my old iPad, and the brand new iPad 2 came up talking immediately. Wonderful beautiful Apple! I called off the police investigation and told Apple as well. Everything worked out. It took a whole article just to tell the story of how I got it. Now I have to write my review of the actual device. By the way, I think I will give my iPad 1 to my Mom. iPads make perfect Mom devices.

I just went to an incredible vegetarian restaurant in Philadelphia called Horizons. They only serve vegan food, so I felt right at home. I right this on the ride home, and I feel satiated.

We had to go out to dinner with Dad. I didn’t know what would happen, so I ate something beforehand. Considering we spent one Christmas Eve at Ted’s Montana Grill, this seemed like a wise precaution. Unknown to me, my brother picked this all vegan restaurant for me, and for Dad’s wife, who also eats a vegan diet. Needless to say, my stomach feels uncomfortably full.

We arrived, and had to go up a bunch of winding stairs. It reminded me of going up to an attic. My brother’s wife said that before this, the building housed a weird bar that nobody went into. I entered the floor, hearing the sound of a fountain, and got a good feeling. At this point, I still didn’t know that this place served all vegan food, but found out as soon as I sat down and got my bearings.

We read over the menus, and I felt overwhelmed in a good way. My Dad felt skeptical, and had some smart ass questions for our waitress, named Lisa by the way. True, a $20 mushroom dish might seem a bit strange to some, but you get some really good mushrooms! We decided to order some appetizers and share them, and settled on the Vietnamese tacos with tempeh and lemongrass, and Jamaican Seatan. Dad and some others got the Tame and Wild Mushroom plate, and I got the Grilled Seatan.

The Grilled Seatan tasted wonderful. Seatan makes a great meat substitute, and they made it moist and grilled, like one would barbecue meat. The Yukon Mash complimented it wonderfully, made with Yukon Gold potatoes. Don’t even mention the wonderful horseradish sauce! I only needed a little taste to know I loved it.

Needless to say, I got quite full quite quickly, but still wanted to try a dessert. I settled on the bitter-sweet chocolate tart. It came with smokey peanut butter vegan ice cream, and this weird orange stuff which balanced it out. I loved it. Unfortunately, they didn’t have anything with cacao, but this still satisfied me.

All and all, I loved my meal. It will take several times going there to even sample everything. Each of the entrees come from a different part of the world, so pick your favorite part of the world for eating and enjoy!