Remembering my friend Ben King
Every year at this time I remember my friend Ben King. We met via my bulletinboard, since I had written a popular game called Barneysplat!. I introduced him to Discordianism, and to Esperanto. We went to an Esperanto course in 1995 and 1996. In 1996, he bought surprise tickets to a Weird Al concert. While driving back from the concert, we got into a car accident, and he died.
I remember us making comics for La Bulteno, the newsletter of the course. Our favorite one showed an older woman walking down the street in San Fransisco, where the course resided. “Chu vi havas kanabon?” asks a yyoung guy. “Jes, du gefiloj.” she responds. “Mi amas San Fransiskon, la popoloj estas tre amikaj!” she remarks. Hilarious! I have so many memories, and share more every year. Check out the archive of this year’s memorial.
Michael Jackson! (what else?)
Celebrity deaths always come in threes. First, we had Ed McMahon, who died on the 23rd. This made some headlines, but he lived a long life. Today, Farah Fawcett died. She starred in Charlie’s Angels. I didn’t know her at all, but others did. Later in the day, of course, everyone heard about the death of Michael Jackson. Sorry, Mark Sanford, your news cycle has ended. Sleeping with an Argentinian woman seems to normal in comparison.
Why would a celebrity’s death hold my attention? Usually I wouldn’t give one a second thought. I remember listening to Michael Jackson on a tape recorder radio with one speaker. I kept hearing about Michael Jackson, then upon hearing him, I thought he sounded like a girl. I remember Weird Al’s parodies. I also remember this schoolyard chant:
I pledge allegiance to the flag
Michael Jackson is a fag
Pepsi Cola messed him up
Now he’s drinking 7-up
7-up tastes like pee
Now he’s drinking ice tea.
Some other memories surface. In college, while teaching myself Esperanto, he released his History album which had some of the language on the cover or something. Our dorky resident assistant played the album loudly. What a dork! Of course, more recently, child molestation charges came to light, something many had long suspected, as evidenced by the schoolyard rhyme I quoted from the mid eighties. Only Michael Jackson could show up in court wearing pajamas and get acquitted!
As of this writing, a late-breaking report said he collapsed after a powerful injection of Demerol. Surprise, surprise! Television specials have already begun to air. One even called itself “The Life and Death of Michael Jackson. This seemed strange, especially considering they haven’t done the autopsy yet. That will happen tomorrow, and we will probably find out the awful truth we can all feel in our gut.
I decided to turn on the television for the first time in a few months. I turned on the local ABC affiliate. Sure enough, I caught the end of a special. I instinctively felt annoyed at just catching the end, but reminded myself that we would probably hear tons about Michael Jackson over the next few weeks, in fact we will probably get sick of hearing the name, if we haven’t already. I pressed the channel-up button, and found another special. Now it started getting surreal. I hit channel-down twice, and found another.
A family lawyer acted very emotional, warning the family of Jackson’s use of prescription pain killers. He said that if this turned out true, he would speak out. During the commercial, they played an ad for the antidepressant Cymbalta. At least, I assume that it advertised an antidepressant, because it had a warning about suicidal thoughts in a small percentage of patients. This seemed rather disrespectful. Can we please not see ads for prescription medications while getting bumbled with the latest news about Michael Jackson and how he may have died from them? No taste! My finger accidentally hit one of the numbers on the remote control, and it randomly flipped to another channel. Guess what? Another special. I apprehensively turned back to the other one with the lawyer. They played the disturbing interview from Sixty Minutes and that did it, I turned the TV off, I had had my fill. Seeing him likening sleeping with children to something Jesus would have done just seemed like too much.
While I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead, I understand the range in reactions. “Burn in hell pedophile.” says the first comment on one article about his death. “No tears here over the death of a pedophile.” writes a friend of mine on Twitter. I included that ridiculous rhyme at the top for a reason. Nevertheless, I can feel the collective reeling, which I think answers my question about why this story holds my attention. 22.61% of tweets currently contain the phrase “Michael Jackson” or “MJ”. The world is changed. Life has gotten weirder. Who
knows, maybe the Illuminati faked his death to generate enough news over the next few weeks while they crash our economy, and in return Michael Jackson could live a guilt-free debt-free life. I wish I had some MJ, and I don’t mean the King of Pop!
High Weirdness at the Toll House
After last night’s wonderful experience and article about Toll House Cookies, it seemed very odd that today I should see this article. Nestle just recalled 300,000 cases of Toll House cookie dough in various forms. Of course, people should not eat raw dough because of raw eggs, but they should also not use the dough at all, since raw bacteria can contaminate their hands and surfaces. It just seems very strange to me that after I should write such a specific article, this should appear. Poor Toll House!
How to Achieve Immortality with Chocolate Chip Cookies
Filed under: Open-Source Cooking, Spirituality, Technology
While looking through the Emacs directory, I saw a file named etc/COOKIES. Curiously, I browsed it, and found a bunch of cookie recipes. No doubt everyone has heard the urban legend of the woman who writes to a company for their cookie recipe, and ends up spending $250.00 instead of $2.50, so distributes it. At the end, it had an easy recipe for Toll House Cookies.
Previously, I had purchased Nestles Toll House cookie mix, the kind you break apart and put on sheets. It tasted okay, but nothing beats home-made cookies. I always liked the name. It called to mind a friendly toll house with its happily ringing bell, and a quaint inn overlooking it. Actually, Kenneth and Ruth Wakefield purchased an old toll house in 1930, and remade it into an inn.
According to Nestle, the invention of the first Toll House cookie occurred accidently. That page has a link to an official recipe, which differs slightly from the one in Emacs, which follows:
Chocolate Chip Cookies - Glamorous, crunchy, rich with chocolate bits & nuts.
Also known as "Toll House" Cookies ... from Kenneth and Ruth Wakefield's
charming New England Toll House on the outskirts of Whitman, Massachusetts.
These cookies were first introduced to American homemakers in 1939 through
our series of radio talks on "Famous Foods From Famous Eating Places."
Mix Thoroughly :
2/3 cup soft shortening ( part butter )
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar ( packed )
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
Sift together and stir in :
1-1/2 cups sifted flour (*)
1/2 tsp soda
1/2 tsp salt
Stir in :
1/2 cup cut-up nuts
6 oz package of semi-sweet chocolate pieces ( about 1-1/4 cups )
(*) for a softer, more rounded cookie, use 1-3/4 cups sifted flour.
Drop rounded teaspoonfuls about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until
delicately browned ... cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before you
remove them from the baking sheet.
Temperature: 375 F. ( modern oven )
Time: bake 8 - 10 minutes
Amount: 4 - 5 dozen 2" cookies
=====
Personal comments :
I find it tastes better with a mixture of shortening and butter, as they say.
You don't need << all >> of that sugar, and it can be whatever color you want.
The nuts are optional. Feel free to play with the recipe. I put oatmeal in it,
reducing flour accordingly, and sometimes cinnamon.
I also find it useful to grease the cookie sheets.
I think I'm going to go bake some now ...
-- richard
I figured that any editor that comes with a file of cookie recipes has a strong spirit, and it inspired me to try the recipe above. It came out well enough, as I still learn the fine art of baking. It got me thinking about achieving immortality in the more classic sense of the word, living on through one’s works.
In exchange for printing the recipe, Ruth Wakefield received a lifetime supply of chocolate. She died in 1977. The Toll House Inn burned down on New Year’s Eve of 1984. Yet, the inn, Ruth Wakefield, and the original colonial toll house live on through a simple cookie.
Bathtubs, Global Warming, Real vs. Poser Vegetarians
I’ve mentioned that I’ve had my bathroom completely renovated. I’ve already ranted about my new water-conserving toilet. My bathtub follows suit. It bothers me to see the fake environmental movement’s influence slithering into my home.
Don’t get me wrong, I really like my new bathtub, but it has a reduced water flow, no doubt due to similar water conservation laws as those which govern my new toilet. It takes a good deal longer to fill up. I cannot help but wonder if psychologically this makes one less likely to want to fill it as much. These people know how to play hardball! While watching it slowly fill and washing my hair in barely enough water, I began thinking about all this. I like my water hot and my baths full! Does this make me a heartless dinosaur?
Recently, Paul McCartney joined in the proposed Meatless Monday, urging people not to eat meat on Mondays to help cut down on cow gas (seriously!) to help save dee Earf! Don’t get me wrong, as a vegetarian I would love to see people eat less meat, if only to increase my chances of getting a better meal while eating out. However, I already know where this will go.
It will increase the number of what I call Poser Vegetarians. I see vegetarians in two classes: real and poser. Real vegetarians do not eat meat for internal reasons, usually associated with a kundalini awakening. This explains the association between vegetarianism and the hippie culture, the new age movement, and other phenomena. Poser vegetarians, on the other hand, choose not to eat meat for external reasons, usually idealist notions of animal rights, saving the Earth, etc. Again, I do not mean to diminish such important issues, but these people will begin eating meat again as soon as it becomes inconvenient. “Oh, I don’t eat meat…except when traveling, because then it’s just too inconvenient.” they will commonly say. I have an inconvenient truth for these posers: The body does not care! While on the subject, I must again reiterate that THE SUN CAUSES GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE! I write this in the middle of June, wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Don’t talk to me about global warming!
I predict that Meatless Monday will see an influx of poser vegetarians, which will in turn increase ridicule from all the meat eaters, and ultimately diminish the effectiveness of the very thing proposed. Can anyone say Hegelian Dialectic? Problem-reaction-solution? Sound familiar? Ah, Illuminati mind control again! It disgusts me, almost as much as the smell of meat.